Scatter Sunshine Project

    

I decided to create a scatter sunshine category in my budget this year. This portion of my budget didn't need to be a large amount. I set mine at 50$ but the same could apply if you put aside 10$ per month for this purpose. Any sum of money set aside to bless the lives of others and allow you the equal blessing of being awakened to seeing the needs of those around you will yield great benefits.

    

My first month's experience with this was a joyful one for me. Ahead of time I visited the dollar store and picked out a few things I thought m be might be fun to have on hand were I to ever throw someone a real "pity party". This was first intended years ago as an inside joke between me and my sister. Whenever one of us felt blue or was going through a really discouraging time I would say "hey let's have ourselves a "pity party", I'll bring the pie!"  She and I both would laugh because we love pie, and I figured who could really stay completely sad while indulging in a slice of heaven. 

So at this party, we could laugh, we could cry, we could share our fears and deepest secret wishes.  I would also present the guest of honor with their very own pity party gift box, complete with supplies so that the next time they were feeling blue they could host their very own party, or invite a special someone to bring some good cheer with them. So I finally did it. I purchased small boxes and party items at the dollar store. I should have taken a picture they were so cute. Bright colored boxes filled with bright tissue paper, confetti, balloons, silly string, party blowers, and I topped them with a paper princess crown. I made up three this month for different people I love. I added a couple of special treats to each according to the occasion. For my daughter, it was actually her birthday box. To it I added some of her favorite Cadbury eggs, a Dove chocolate bar, and some cash in a princess card for her to go shopping with, then I took her to lunch. For my friend who was recovering from surgery, I added homemade muffins, a book of uplifting thoughts, and a card offering to help babysit her little boy until she feels better.  Another friend and I actually had a pity party. To her box I added a dove chocolate bar and some great smelling lotion, then we had a good heartfelt talk and we went out to lunch. All of these boxes and supplies cost under 10$. The added treats were picked up on sale for really cheap at different times in previous months and kept in a box on my shelf. I must say it was really a fun way to make someone's day and in the process, it lifted me and made my day much brighter too. I believe this idea is a win, win for both the giver and the receiver!
   

On Friday night I was invited to watch my niece perform in her last drill team performance. At first, I felt a little sad that I didn't have a box or gift for her. But after attending I learned an important lesson. She was thrilled just to have my love and support there that night. Her hugs and appreciation were genuine. And I loved watching her perform snd share her talents with us,. Even though I didn't bring a gift, my gift to her that evening was my love and time. That was easy to give because I really do love her a lot.  I should never miss an opportunity to visit, support, cheer and show my love for someone simply because I am not bearing a physical gift in my hand. The poet Maya Angelou once said,  "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." There are countless ways we can scatter sunshine throughout our world. Please don't miss one of those moments!

Other Ideas I have:

Create little gift packages when you see a need.

Send a note or card to brighten someone's day.

Ask someone for lunch, dessert or to go on a walk.

Be a genuine friend by remembering the little details and goings-on of each other's lives.

Give genuine words of praise, encouragement, and hugs freely.

Offer to serve someone wherever possible. Put it on your calendar. Commit to it, and show up with a happy heart.

When a friend trusts you enough to share a personal challenge or struggle. Listen with pure empathy. Try hard not to judge or analyze this person, even afterward. Reach out and listen with love. Offer encouragement wherever possible. Keep it confidential and check in on them often.

Actively pray throughout the day and night for those who need additional help from above. Add their names to the temple prayer roll.

Fast for friends and family who are in need of additional heavenly help.

Call someone on the phone just to check in on them.

Offer to give someone a manicure or pedicure with a good smelling lotion or new nail polish they can keep.

Offer to come and organize something or work on a project together.

Thoughtful Gifts:

• Baking mixes or hot cocoa mix, warm socks, some minty foot cream, and a thoughtful card.
• Candle and a beautiful card.
• Sees candies and a card.
• Book and a throw blanket with a card.
• Favorite treats, magazines, drinks, and a card.
• Fun a little game and a treat with a card.
• Craft idea with a card.
• Lovely flower or plant with a card.
• Weddings give a gift card with a thoughtful card.

(As you can see a card is always an important element to me because it's a chance to write down a thoughtful sentiment or express your love and gratitude for someone special. We all have a  deep yearning to be appreciated. This is my chance to say it, in a card.)

Hosting Friends:

• Host a brunch. Keep it simple. Beforehand make the food. Ideas might include muffins, cinnamon rolls, quiche, crepes, french toast, bacon or biscuits and gravy, fresh fruit and milk steamers, or fresh juice. Set the table inside or better yet out on the patio. Invite 2-3 friends over.
• Host a luncheon. This could be as simple as soup or a salad with rolls. Maybe a fresh fruit dessert. Or invite each person to bring an item, potluck style.  Again keep numbers small so I don't feel overwhelmed.  Enjoy the visit and company!
• Couples game night. Invite a couple of friends over. Share a pizza, sub sandwich, or just have everyone bring a favorite treat or finger food. Listen to some favorite 80's tunes, play some games or watch a favorite series or movie together.

My Happiness Project

After reading the book "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin, I felt inspired to start my own happiness project. So here goes...

January - Make Time for Play:
° What do I do for fun?
1. Talking with my sisters on the phone or spend time together.
2. Planning a get together just for fun
3. Reading without guilt
4. Writing (diaries, journals, blogs, notes, talks, lessons, etc.)
5. Teaching anything I am passionate about.
6. Dating and being playful with my husband (planning date night or an exciting surprise just for the two of us.)
7. Spending time with my children (lunches, temple trips, Sunday dinners and games together).
8. Organizing something (planning a project).
9. Going to a play or a concert.
10. Cooking something new.
11. Spiritual Instruction (scriptures, temple, talks, inspirational books then writing about them in my journal).
12. Exercise: Go to the gym with Matt, Pilates, weights or a walk.

February - Share Pure Love:
° Seek out the One. Rather than socializing with just those who have familiar interests to mine. I must make time to sit and listen to the individual who may be sitting alone. Whether the person is shy or feels they don't fit in with the rest of the group, imagine the difference it might make to show pure love and interest in that person and what is going on in their life right now. Look for the one who most needs love and comfort that day and pray for help to know how best to reach them. This can especially be true in our family units,  some may be comfortable in a crowd, while others may feel alone or like a fish out of water. Take the time to include them.
° Embrace introverts These people have much too offer. They most often are the ones who sit back and observe situations and others but don't feel a real need to be the social butterfly. Be sure to spend some quality one on one time with these friends. It may take some time to get them to open up and let you in but practicing pure love and patience can make your relationship grow and become richer over time. Most often these people are cautious about who they see as their true friends and would rather wait for true friendship to form rather than having a boatload of superficial friends. To be a real friend you must learn to become comfortable with silence or minimal conversation. Remember the story from "Kitchen Table Wisdom" where the author sat with a woman in a nursing home who hadn't spoken in years. She was apprehensive at first but decided to just patiently sit with her for the entire hour. In the end the silence allowed this woman to finally open up and express herself.
Be Inclusive and Genuine. No one wants to see themselves as "the project". Be sure to include everyone in your circle of love and friendship. This means avoiding criticism, gossip and backbiting even when the person may not be within earshot. Our words carry great power that is unseen. Those words can be used to hurt or heal. We must learn to choose our words carefully. Pure love can only be felt if we rid ourselves of any hypocrisy. Be an example always being known to build up others with genuine words of love and praise. Be a better builder of people. Always leave a person better than you found them.
° Study the Saviors life. Learn through it how he loved and taught others. Pray for Heavenly assistance to help me better incorporate this kind of love into my life and relationships. He loved without judging others. His love for me is a constant source of energy and encouragement. It enlightens me and fills me with a desire to share this same kind of love with others.
° Practice principles of pure love in our home life first. There is no greater place to learn and practice the art of pure love than within the walls of my own home. Here I have a myriad of personalities to learn how to apply and impart love into each relationship I have. The number of people I must learn to love is increasing as each of my children will some day marry and have my grandchildren. Lots and lots of people to love! For me, I am an analytical thinker, so it has served me well to assess each individuals needs and perhaps even the way they most effectively feel love. I am a big fan of Gary Chapman's "love language" series of books. In them he introduces you to five love languages. We all have different ways we most feel love. I for instance am a words of affirmation and physical touch person while my husband feels love most when we are spending quality time together. Other ways one might feel love are through, gift giving and acts of service. The point here is to tune into each individual and help them feel optimal love from me.
° Seek for Understanding: We all feel a deep human need to be understood.  My brother said something a few months ago that has stuck with me and we conversed further on this subject recently. He pointed out that even though we all get irritated at times with others most of what we see is coming from our own perception of a situation. For instance I may see as our parents are aging one of them get out of sorts with the other. In doing so I might come to my own conclusions and conveniently attach a label to this parent as being selfish, overbearing, cruel or emotionally abusive. This may just be my own perception. In reality that persons heartfelt intent might really be something totally different. Perhaps they are burned out from giving tireless service to a spouse who is declining in their mental capabilities. They may need to take over all decision making and at times get short tempered and frustrated, as we all do at times which can be interpreted as bossy. They may even say or do things completely inappropriate or out of line at some point on a hard day. But bearing the burden of this challenge as well as having others misjudge your intentions may be far too much to take.  I can do a much better job at changing my perception. By thinking outside of my own box. I can try to imagine trading places with that person that I may be harshly judging for a day or an entire month. I should try to imagine how I might feel to stand in that persons shoes. And make way for showing more true empathy and understanding towards them. I can forgive quickly and not replay a perceived hurt, affliction or sound bite over and over again in my head and to other people. Nurturing a wound will only make it fester. And it may even spread the disease of contempt along to others. Changing my perception can make way for healing and allow me to find new fertile ground where pure love for that person will now be allowed to grow!
° Use guided imagery. In Carol Tuttle's book "Remembering Wholeness" she teaches an exercise that I have used before and it works. You must imagine yourself and the person who has offended or hurt you in a room surrounded by light. You are both in your highest divine states. This person comes to you and asks for your complete forgiveness for the said offense. They are sincerely seeking not only your forgiveness but no longer wish to cause you any further harm. You then assign them a new script in your life play. One in which they are no longer playing the villain but rather are seen as being a helpful advocate to you in your life journey. Make this your new reality and truly let go and forget any previous negative experiences you have had with another person. Even if this person has never truly sought your forgiveness or said "I'm sorry".

March - True Beauty:
°Smiling makes you prettier! It's true that the happiest people I know are the most beautiful people. When we smile it boosts our pretty factor by at least 80 percent. Smiling at others along with making eye contact makes us approachable and may boost someone else's happiness for the day. It is the one non verbal act of service we can render daily even to a complete stranger ex. Remember the man who approached me at uncle Paul's funeral who just needed a hug, and surprising even me just took it. It wasn't because I was the most beautiful one in the room, but that I exuded love and kindness with my smile and in my countenance. Our world needs more smiles in order to make it a beautiful place to be!
° Just be Me: No time for phony baloney here, just be yourself. You may find traits in others you appreciate or things you want to improve upon and incorporate into your life. But always be true to yourself. Learn to love yourself, all of you (weaknesses and all). No need to apologize for who you are or point out your faults. See yourself as Heavenly Father does and it will make all of the difference  :-)
°Movement. Make time daily for some form of exercise. Movement is motivating to the body, mind and spirit. I love going to the gym with my husband, especially sculpting muscles through weights. I also love Pilate's and yoga for the way they connect me to my body and strengthen me. Walking the dog or hiking/walking with a friend is a great way to get out and move and feel the benefits of the sunshine and the joy of being in nature.

April - Parenting:
°Enjoy the process. Don't wish away today, the seasons pass far too quickly. Live, breathe in and savor each moment. Our relationships with one another are precious. Even through the struggles and challenges we stretch and grow. Get into my kids world and find out what makes them tick. Make time to understand and enjoy life with them.
° When my husband and I travel, bring home little presents. But instead of just handing them over when we return, make sure to pick the present early in the trip, then allow the children to ask for clues.  Each child gets one clue per day, and they will have tremendous fun coming up with the questions. The gift itself brings them much less fun than the guessing game.(this idea came from Gretchen's book)
°Take time for Projects. Happiness requires us to enjoy living in the moment. Anticipate it, savor it as it unfolds, express your happiness in the moment and recall happy memories. This year my son loved learning how to can and preserve things from his grandpas garden, my daughters both loved to be read to, in fact our youngest is now enjoying the "Little House on the Prairie" series of books with me.  Whatever you both enjoy doing try to invite a child so that you can build happy memories together.
°Honor our own parents:  A friend of mine cared for both her mother and her mother in law at different times before they passed away.  She had hospice come in and assist her. They told her that as we take care of our aging parents, we are training our children in how to love and care for us. That has made me pause many times and think that throughout our lifetimes as we learn to honor and love our parents, our children are watching and learning from the patterns we set. I can do a much better job. Here are some ideas I admire as I watch great examples around me and allow the Spirit to teach me how to better honor the wonderful parents we have both been blessed with :

• Make the time to call and check in on them regularly.
• Have them over for Sunday dinner at least once a month.
• Bring them a meal, treat or just pop in for a visit more often.
• Plan or host family get-togethers monthly.
• Make a big deal over their birthdays, anniversaries and other special occasions.
• Take them out to lunch, a movie or out shopping.
• Bring a grandchild along for a visit.
• Be helpful and cheerful.

° Quiet Time = Sanity.  Daily take an hour or two for yourself. Go to a quiet place free from distraction. This may be your bedroom, back yard or anywhere you can be left alone. Be sure to turn off phones, TV and any technology that may be distracting to you for this period of time. Even kids benefit by having some quiet down time when they can rest, dream, read, nap or create. This allows everyone to have a break from each other and can renew you all for the rest of the day.

°Bedtime Routines. Children need a regular bed time in order for Mom and Dad to get some much needed alone time.
Pray for them Always.  Be in tune with the Spirit and discern clearly their needs so that I can pray for their good.  Let Heavenly Father know of the deep gratitude I have, for each child born to me is a precious gift I could not bear to be without.

May - Friendship:
° You must learn how to be a friend in order to get and keep a friend. Think of ways to show true friendship.  See my article "Scatter Sunshine" for ideas.
° Make 3 new friends each year. Put myself out there.  Pray for opportunities to meet new friends then be the one to invite, approach and take an active role in building friendships with each one.
° You need close long term relationships. Studies show that if you have five or more friends with whom you discuss important matters, you're far more likely to describe yourself as "very happy". Create a list of such friends
  

June - Live a Little:
° Read more for enjoyment. Not just cooking, reference, relationship, scriptures, internet and social media. Learn to read just for pure pleasure sometimes. Don't let my natural quest for learning stand in the way of letting down my hair once in awhile. Kicking back and putting my life on hold for a few hours is not robbing me of anything precious. It may even serve to enhance my life and improve my mood.
° Treat Yourself: A funny epiphany occurred one day a few years back while I was riding in my mini van with 3 small screaming children. I happened to pass a friend going the opposite way. She was alone in her car looking relaxed and sipping a Zuka juice. Bitterly through tears that night I expressed to my husband my frustration. "Why can't I ever take time for myself and just go out and buy myself a smoothie and have some ME time?" His response sobered me as he tried to understand and sweetly replied, "I don't know why can't you?˝ From that day forward I have tried to shift my thinking to realizing that my playing the role of martyr here was doing no one any favors. What did I possibly think? That there was some kind of medal or reward I would get for being so selfless-  that I forgot about doing nice things for me?  Besides if I passed away from this life early and Matt were ever to remarry, his future wife may actually take him up on his considerate and generous nature and spend a little money and time on herself. That thought really irked me! This is a hard one for me because I had a mother who put everyone's needs above her own.  But I finally created a fund in the budget just for me and have since worked a little harder at having my own dreams and being unafraid to ask for what I want in life. I now try to allow for free time each day to enjoy myself and create the life I truly want to have.

July - Trust in the Lord:
°Listen to God's voice more.  My Heavenly Father and his Son Jesus Christ love me. Their words to me would be ones of kindness and encouragement. They would lift me when I feel weak rather than criticize or belittle me. They would listen and gently entreat me when I feel down rather than desert me. Their love for me is endless and their faith in my becoming has no limits. Heavenly Father sees the good in me as his child, and wants me to hear his voice.
°Recognize my job as a peacemaker in our home, while still allowing others to take responsibility for their own behaviors and relationships. Let others own the consequences that may result from those behaviors, it will be the quickest way for them to learn lessons that will further help them in the future. Use my energy to inspire and encourage with love.
°Have higher expectations in regards to love and respect in our home. Be unafraid to address misbehavior when it first occurs. Hold to both natural and logical consequences, let them work for you.
°Acknowledge my own limitations as a human being. I cannot fix everything. Some things just are and I must learn to make peace with those things. Walk with others through life and their challenges and afflictions.
°Encourage others to turn to God and to have faith that they will each receive their own answers to problems and challenges. Remember that Rebecca in the Old Testament had her own personal relationship with the Lord and knew how to seek for her own inspiration rather than expecting Isaac to pray and relay messages for her.

August - Recharging my own batteries:

° The decadence of a nap:  sometimes a nap can serve to renew me and help me to optimize my energy. Don't apologize when you need to take one.
° Acknowledge my own hurts and pains, without wallowing in self pity. Nurture myself along with the Lord in my sufferings.
°Don't become a doormat. State expectations clearly about what I expect, how I want to be treated. Be unafraid to say what needs to be said.
Exercise: Going to the gym, doing Pilates, Yoga, weights or a walk can make you feel light and alive again.
Stillness: In an ever busy humming world it is becoming essential that I make time to be still.  Sometimes it is pondering after I read the scriptures or pray.  Other times I may choose to listen to  nothing at all and just meditate.  Centering oneself and ones mind each day is important so that you can hear both your inner voice and the voice of your Heavenly Father through the Spirit.
Music: Because of my husband and his great diverse love of all kinds of music, I too have came to appreciate what a good piece of music can do for me. Most often I prefer something calm and soothing, but other times I love to dance with my kids, turn on some love songs from the 80's for a romantic evening or listen to something new and happy that energizes me!

September - Let others be in Charge:

My husband and I were attracted to one another both for the things we did and didn't possess. I for instance am very much a first child. I feel the need to be responsible and tend to drive many of our concrete plans and schedules forward. My husband is a free spirited go with the flow kind of a guy. He's spontaneous, adventuresome and not afraid to break a few rules every now and then. We actually work very well together. But I have found myself feeling uptight and tense in our lives some times.  I often wish that I could let my hair down a little and be the fun one in our family. It is on these occasions I need to embrace some of the qualities of my other half.
°"Let it Go" is a new hit song from the Disney movie "Frozen".  Sometimes it feels good to let go of all of the to do lists, high expectations and rigid schedules to make way for just having fun. Letting others own responsibility for their own actions and stuff takes real concerted effort on my part, but can be so freeing.
° Be spontaneous. The other night Matt announced at 10:10 p.m. that he was hungry and we should all go out for bite to eat. The responsible side of me began to protest, "but we've already eaten out twice this week and it's too late, so unhealthy." But then I stopped and thought I'm hungry too, let's go. We loaded our two youngest up and headed for Arctic circle. We brought the food home and ate and laughed together. Matt teased Mimi about her chicken rings asking her what part of the chicken they came from. Then suggesting that he could only think of one place the chicken had a hole in it.  The look on Mimi's face was priceless. As she caught on she began to both laugh hysterically and intermittently look appalled and disgusted at the prospect that she may really be eating a chicken bum hole. We all had lots of laughs and enjoyed a spontaneous night of fun together.

October - Financial Freedom:
°Talk positively about our finances.  Make it a goal to find twice a month we can have a fun and spontaneous talk about our finances. This cannot be an experience with any negative energy, only positive. Evaluate where we are on our spending and our goals. Take a realistic look at how we are doing on our debt snowball. Creatively come up with ways we can do better. Enjoy the challenge and process. Recognize the good things we are already doing and embrace the joy that comes with being financially free.
° Create positive feelings about money with my thoughts. Remember our thoughts become our reality. Let these positive associations with money motivate me towards being at my best.
° Read my patriarchal blessing often. Remember the Lords promises to me. Exercise faith that his promises are sure. Always share liberally with God and others.
° Be more grateful! Be sure to offer up prayers of gratitude to my Heavenly Father for the abundance of blessings we have received in this area. Rather than complain or making negative statements about money, practice at having a positive and grateful heart.
°Embrace Prosperity. Instead of following worldly trends toward fearing, worshipping or complaining about money. Embrace the fact that we are  truly wealthy and prosperous. How blessed are we to have an abundance of food, clothing and always a beautiful, warm, safe place to live? Instead of fear I  must recognize and embrace the blessing that my husband has truly always been able provide me with an abundance of both material and spiritual blessings. Sleep on that fact!
° Create my own Intentions. Don't listen to fear mongers or the media regarding economic down turns, natural disasters, etc. Recognize that this is all a part of the life cycle and most of us will ride above even the most devastating financial setbacks with the guidance of a loving Heavenly Father. If we have a willing heart he will show us the way.  The challenge to live on one income has far less to do with what we make in a year and far more to do with our own self discipline.

November - My Hubby: The Love of my Life
°My Priorities. Remember the triangle structure and the importance of putting God first in our lives on top connected to our spouse and ourselves. Only when we truly look to God can we be solid enough to know how to love each other and make a marriage strong and balanced.
Embrace our Intimate Life together.  Communicate often about this fun facet of our life.  Work on being Emotionally, Physically and Spiritually intimate together.  Read books and ideas that will make this area more fun for you. A great one to begin with is "And they were not Ashamed" by Laura Brotherson.  Remember that intimacy creates a chance for adults to be playful, so embrace and enjoy each other in this way.  Being intimately connected to your mate reduces stress. It gives a man his MOJO and helps a wife feel alive and loved!!!!
Put his needs above my own.  Selflessness is a major component of happiness.  When someone truly loves you they can do so without fear of rejection or being taken advantage of.  When you graciously learn to give to your spouse and pamper him a bit, the rewards will come back tenfold.
Speak his Love Language.  The gift of time is my husbands major love language.  Therefore we do a weekly date.  I put the kids to bed each night or we both retire to our room around 9:00 p.m. so we can have Mommy/Daddy time, (this is not the time to do laundry, housework, browse the computer or check out my phone).  Time for us means doing something together, to bond!  We also love to steal away quarterly if we can for a weekend away somewhere or a couples vacation every so often. (This has been better achieved regularly now that most of the kids are a little older :)
Pray for my husband continually. Pray for his work and his successes there. Pray that he will feel of my love.  Offer up gratitude continually for my sweet hubby and let Heavenly Father know how much I recognize the good in him.  Pray for an increase of love to continually grow in our hearts.  Pray to forgive quickly.  Pray for understanding to better know his heart.  Pray when he is struggling that he will learn what he needs to from the challenge or struggle and have the strength to get through it. Pray that he will not be tempted beyond what he can bear.  Pray that he stays close to God.  Pray that we will be together forever and ever!!!!

December - Be a Finisher:
° Write it out. Writing down your plan for the day or for a project can help you visualize your goal. It can also help you stay committed and feel the joy when you eventually complete it.
°Don't get side tracked. Set a goal and try to stay focused until it is completed. Write it down and check it off when finished. Make small mini goals to help me reach my main goal.
° Diminish Distractions. Avoid cell phones, social media, etc Anything that may take me away from the pursuit of my goal. Practice self discipline. Put distractions out of sight.
° Use a Timer. A timer is a great way to make sure to stay on task. If I have a hard time beginning something for the day. Setting the timer for 15 min. to start with can help jump start me and help me to continue to work and eventually complete my priorities for the day.
° Stay Focused. Work on one goal at a time.  Beginning too many books at the same time or having too many irons in the fire can make it nearly impossible to do anything very well. Even though women are great multi-taskers, remember one thing at a time, slow and steady or being consistent wins every time. Think of the example of the jar filled with rocks. Each rock represents your major priorities for the day- scripture study, tidy house, laundry, exercise, dinner, one on one with hubby and kids etc. Once these things are complete you still may have room for some pebbles-things like reading a book, writing on my blog, friends, journaling, scrapbooking, going to the temple, etc. There may still be room to fit in some sand between the cracks- go to the park, serve someone, walk the dog, TV time etc. The point here is to set what priorities are most important to you at a particular season in life. Productivity doesn't happen by getting more stuff done in a day. Just the meaningful stuff for you and your greatest happiness potential!