"...and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another's burdens, that they may be light." -Mosiah 18:8
I am the oldest of six children and being so I have always wanted to take care of those around me and make things right. I used to think that when someone around me was dealing with a problem I had one of two options:
1- I worried myself sick thinking about their problem and often felt helpless
or
2- I tried to fix it for them.
The wiser me now knows there is also a third- and much better option:
3- I can let the person own their own problem and grow and learn by having to solve it or work through it themselves.
When I choose to do this I allow myself to have empathy without experiencing anxiety. I have found it is mentally and spiritually a much healthier approach for me. As I learn to do it better, I am able to be a stabilizing, calm and positive force for those around me. Their problems may be causing them temporary chaos and stress. But I can be faithfully optimistic and encourage them to come up with some inspired solutions of their own.
Seeking for the Lord's help in resolving their troubles can help build their faith and confidence in understanding how the spirit works personally with them. This spiritual tool is an essential one that they can learn to use throughout their entire lives with any problem or difficulty that may encounter.
3- I can let the person own their own problem and grow and learn by having to solve it or work through it themselves.
When I choose to do this I allow myself to have empathy without experiencing anxiety. I have found it is mentally and spiritually a much healthier approach for me. As I learn to do it better, I am able to be a stabilizing, calm and positive force for those around me. Their problems may be causing them temporary chaos and stress. But I can be faithfully optimistic and encourage them to come up with some inspired solutions of their own.
Seeking for the Lord's help in resolving their troubles can help build their faith and confidence in understanding how the spirit works personally with them. This spiritual tool is an essential one that they can learn to use throughout their entire lives with any problem or difficulty that may encounter.
Some time ago I wrote these words in my journal that apply so well to what I was thinking today....
I must learn after doing all that I can do, to let things go....A good example is schoolwork. After helping my kids by encouraging them to do homework, showing them how to fill out a planner and trying to enforce a study time each day, they must then be in charge of their grades not me. I cannot feel like a failure if they choose to fail...they must learn to be in charge of their own destiny. Another example.... My oldest child is now an adult, who must be in charge of her own life. She is able to learn things through trial and error, and to establish values and beliefs based on her own experiences in the world. It is my job to be her exemplar, mother, confidant and cheerleader. Encouraging her towards becoming her best and showing her I care by loving her and leading a gospel based life is how I can best help. The rest must be left up to her.
I must learn after doing all that I can do, to let things go....A good example is schoolwork. After helping my kids by encouraging them to do homework, showing them how to fill out a planner and trying to enforce a study time each day, they must then be in charge of their grades not me. I cannot feel like a failure if they choose to fail...they must learn to be in charge of their own destiny. Another example.... My oldest child is now an adult, who must be in charge of her own life. She is able to learn things through trial and error, and to establish values and beliefs based on her own experiences in the world. It is my job to be her exemplar, mother, confidant and cheerleader. Encouraging her towards becoming her best and showing her I care by loving her and leading a gospel based life is how I can best help. The rest must be left up to her.
Being a micro manager over everyone- my husband, my kids and my extended family is exhausting. I must learn to let it go and realize that a leader must simply set the pace not continually carry everyone else's backpacks.
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